"The Problem of Jealousy and
What to Do About It"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

Jealousy can be a problem for many people. Whether it's a feeling
that you try to deny and keep as a secretor or it shows up in overt
actions of anger or rage, jealousy is something that you simply have
to deal with in order to have healthy, happy relationships.

Our relationship advice to overcome jealousy and create great
relationships is not as difficult as it may seem.

Jealousy can show up over many things--other people's things,
their success, their beauty, their money, their athletic prowess,
their relationship, their kids, or their education. It can and
usually does show up with a partner in many different ways
and can wreck relationships pretty quickly.

Jealousy can be a small, nagging feeling or it can be an
all-encompassing obsession that takes over your life. In its
extreme, it can lead to separation, divorce and certainly a
relationship breakup.

If jealousy is a problem for you, here are some ways to help
you heal:

1. Learn to get in touch with what you are feeling. Stop what you
are doing when those jealous feelings come up and just sit and allow
them to surface without judging them and without lashing out at
someone else. Whether there is any truth to what you are feeling
or not, allow your feelings to be there. If you sit long enough with
jealousy, you'll probably find that underneath is anger and/or fear.
When you can address either anger or fear in your life, you will be
on your way to healing.

2. Discover whether your suspicions are true or whether you are
making up untrue stories about what happens to trigger your jealousy.
The stories you tell yourself may be completely fabricated from what
happened in your past or there may be some truth to what you are
telling yourself. Whatever the case, find out what's actually happening
and what isn't.

3. Take the courage and face down what's happening in your life. If
there is truth to what you fear is happening, then create a plan to hit the
problem with honesty. Quit guessing and have the courage to find out.
If there isn't any truth to your fears, then bring yourself into the present
moment each time those fears come up. Remind yourself that you are
only making up untrue stories.

If the actions that you fear are actually happening, ask your partner to
change their behavior and if they refuse or pretend to change but they
actually don't, then you may need to decide if want to continue this
relationship.

If you know that you are making up stories that are untrue about what
you are feeling, then you can decide to change what you believe and
how you act.

Jealousy is a wake-up call and call to action to begin taking charge of
your life instead of letting life simply happen to you.

When it comes to overcoming jealousy, no matter how it shows up in
your life, it doesn't go away until you deal with the issues straight on,
make changes in your life and keep moving toward healing, no matter
what.  You can't point your finger outward at others.  You have to be
committed to changing yourself.

If you have this problem, know that many people, like you, have healed
and eliminated it from their lives and so can you.

For a free mini-course on healing jealousy, visit http://www.nomorejealousy.com